now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
