That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
