Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
