I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
