im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
