i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Randomize
