it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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