Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
