he shaved USA in his pubs
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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