real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
After last night, I could never be a politician.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
