Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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