I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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