Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
