dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
