I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
