I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize