So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
