I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
