new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
