I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
