Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I wish you could order shots online.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
