Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Randomize