This beer is not sobering me up at all
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize