Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
