after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
