is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize