Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
