Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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