May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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