you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
