I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
