he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
