so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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