what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
