She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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