she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
