Betty ford says i'm here all night
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
