I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
