Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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