yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I need to sanitize my soul.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
