I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
