OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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