i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
