did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I need a burrito and a hug.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
