I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
