that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
