I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
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