Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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