mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
