I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize