Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
