im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
