Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
