Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
