garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
