Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
