A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
